Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
