So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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