Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
