I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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