When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
