And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
