I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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