Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
