We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
