I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't deserve a penis
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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