i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Please, let me fuck your mom
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
