i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
