But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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