how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
