Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
