problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
