And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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