I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
