is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love black thongs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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