i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
