it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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