It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
