Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
