I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
