After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
