Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
