i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
