Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
