Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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