maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
