I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
