Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
