if i can run in heels then i can drive
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
this boner is exhausting
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
