wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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