drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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