Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you win again, gameday.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
