hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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