When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
