Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
