I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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