just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
