Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she looked like the before picture.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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