Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
