My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
