How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
