He asked me if I "almost moaned"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
