What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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