Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
