Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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