Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
