I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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