CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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